I’m coming to you from a stiff, upright position in a Holiday Inn Express in Easton, PA. Why, besides early man’s desire to hold tools and look for jaguars, am I standing upright?
Because I screwed up my neck and it hurts to… do things. Even to sit, or turn my head. Regardless, tomorrow I shall sit indeed: for six hours as I drive, alone, for the show must go on. But I’m not changing lanes.
Did I hurt my neck performing? (Obviously not.) Or by foolishly answering Seth’s dad’s bizarre sit-up challenge at the gym this morning? Hint: Seth’s dad is about twice my age, but he’s twice as good at doing weird sit-ups.
Thanks to the Sit-Up Challenge, I finally understand why some stomach exercises are called “crunches.” I actually heard and felt my vertebrae "crunch" as I gripped the bars behind my head, lofted the lower half of my body straight up into the air, and jammed my neck and shoulders against the padding. All to prove myself to a paternal figure, and to fail.
Besides my intense pain and the Williamson Wedding, this hotel also has a Bar Mitzvah party tonight. We had an easy time picking out which people in the lobby were here for which event, thanks to a new game I’ll call “Blonde Hair or Crazy Nose.”
Ouch! Sorry - my neck, not the joke.
Aaron Kagan has been called "The Calvin Trillin of Writing About Touring as a Sketch Comic."
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2 comments:
Who the hell is Calvin Trillin? I like it better when you talk about Johnny Depp. I like Johnny Depp. :)
Sorry about your neck. You have proven your manliness with that one (to be read as: stupidity).
In response, Dave Reibstein writes:
If you think of me as a pain in the neck, you have set your sights too
high.
D
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