There’s no other way to show up for a performance than with three police cruisers surrounding you, lights flashing. And there’s no better way to leave a venue than with a court order to appear back in Conway, Arkansas for disorderly conduct. At least that’s how Seth likes to do it.
At every college, we pause before entering to take a photograph of Seth in front of the school’s ornate welcome sign. While we take the photograph, Seth drops his pants to reveal the pallid orb that is his rump. We then use this photograph to blow college students’ minds in a skit we commonly refer to as “Seth’s Butt.”
The strange thing is not that Seth was told he was lucky to have not been arrested. The strange thing is that this was the first time we’d been caught.
They gave Seth a really hard time. It was a regular blue state-red state culture war, played out between beefy Southern men with short haircuts, and a short man who had showed his hairy, beefy buttocks. Maybe we were caught because Seth dropped pants in front of the entrance to the University of Central Arkansas in broad daylight, but maybe it was because we had Massachusetts plates.
Meanwhile, our hosts more than made up for it by giving us one of the warmest receptions we’ve ever had, including buying us “sushi” for dinner and offering to bake us a broccoli corn bread.
In the end, a good time was had by all, including the fire ants who feasted on our ankles as we all hugged goodbye.
2 comments:
You guys are gods among men.
It's a good thing you weren't shirtless and shoeless too. You would have been denied service.
well, if any ass was going to get you in trouble, it had to be seth's, right? does he SERIOUSLY have to go back there for court? what is this country coming to, when a judge has to waste time deciding an ass-based case that stemmed from a JOKE?!?!
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