Homeopathic Remedy or Cruel Prank?

Perhaps both.

More Theater Classes We'd Like to See

Brendan of La Tene chocolates had this to add in regards to my penultimate post:

"I think you've hit upon the crux of the problem with theatre classes (and yes, there is a problem). Other suggested classes:

-Espresso Training and Latte Terminology
-Cover my Shift: Building You Career With Flexible Jobs
-Microsoft Office for Those Who Will Eventually Resign Themselves to Full-Time Jobs
That Require Its Use."

And I'll add another: Sleeping Your Way to the Top (Of Your Local KFC)

Any others?

Backstage Pass Part II

Speaking of bad backstages in corners of cafeterias, last night's backstage was bad and in the corner of a cafeteria. There, on the heater, I found this rock hard abandoned, dry banana tip:



If whoever did that's name is Anna, I suggest that they ban her.

Backstage Pass

In theory, it is crucial for a performer to have a properly set up performance space. In our experience, the same is true, provided you replace “crucial” with “a chimera.” ("a horrible or unreal creature of the imagination; a vain or idle fancy")

Mayb we'd be better prepared for acting in the real world if there were fewer theater classes like “Improvisational Movement” and more like “How Not To Cry Because So Few People Came To Your Show In Pittsburgh and It’s Cold Out.”

Then again, we didn't take theater classes. And that’s a good thing, because we don’t get to perform in very many theaters. Frequently, we'll show up for a gig only to find that the “auditorium” is not only a cafeteria, but just a corner of it, the rest of it being roped off for cleaning. During our show.

Our most recent “backstage” was made from mostly empty bookshelves, wheeled together. There I found this text. Judging from the font size, who do you think Kenneth Branagh thinks is more important: Kenneth Branagh or William Shakespeare?



Seeing this book I couldn't help but think how much less impressive the Ghost of Hamlet's Father would have been crawling out from behind the salad bar.

Unholy Trinity

I came across this photo in an old yearbook after our show at Trinity College. I don't know who these guys are, and they might be dead by now, but I hate them.

Menu Typos

I know it's not nice, but it's funnier than it is mean. These come from a Vietnamese restaurant in Albany, which cooks a lot better than it spells.




-Aaron "Coconut Mike" Kagan

Bizarre Google Hits III

It's that time again! Thanks to my site meter, here are actual search terms that have brought people to this blog. And in a vicious circle, once I post them, if anyone googles them again, they'll only be more prominently listed. You might say that looking for information about "funny refrigeration" and ending up at LOL, USA is the modern day rolling a rock up a hill only to watch it come back down.

Without further ado:

-Fluidity exercise bar craigslist new jersey
-baby powder on my vagina
-Funny refrigeration
-Pictures of chafing on the vaginal area
-adult novelty shop I-90 Massachusetts
-Vagine bizarre (from google france)
-Locked inside cheesequake park
-Vagina chafing cream
-cowboy strippers
-I have a mole on my vagina
-"Ha-hah"
-cream coming out of my vagina

I've said it before and I'll say it again: am I really the only person on the internet who has written (one word, one time) about genitalia?

In conclusion, here's my personal favorite:

a hideous jewess lay with me

Dig It

Until now, I thought the only way was through the sandbox, with a plastic shovel.

Kids these days have it way too easy.

Yesterday Was the Winter of Zach's Discontent

For our last batch of shows, we were lucky enough to have an excuse to experience the Adirondacks in winter, which were picturesquely blanketed in ice and snow. At the hotel pool, we went under water.




















And at a frozen (solid, Mom) roadside stream, we stood on top of it.


If you compare Seth and Zach's dress to their relative levels of comfort, that whole 90%-of-your-heat-escaping-through-your-head-
if-you-don't-wear-a-hat-thing really seems true.

I learned the hard way, however, that Lake Placid was closed for the season.


We had a great show at Paul Smith's College, which by acreage is the largest school in the U.S. if not the world. The predominant majors are culinary arts and forestry. That and it's attractive, remote location make me think that it would be a great place to suffer out the end of the world.